The personal stuff and everything I deal with. Mostly depressing, so turn away if you don't care for it.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
I guess it's my own fault, it's what I deserve for the things I've done.
Tonight is a night where I feel completely worthless. I feel like I'm just not what someone wants. People only want me for one thing or another, never for the whole thing, and sometimes not at all. I just need to accept that I'll never be what I hope to be, or what someone else wants me to be. Maybe then I can move ahead and move past everything. I wish I knew a way. Tonight is just not a good night. Some days i just want to get away from everything. I'm tired of it all.
had another dream about you. it’s been, what, 4 now? and all of them have gone the exact same way. I see you, and I try and say hi, just to see if maybe I can attempt to patch things up. your response is never any words back. just a look of annoyance. it makes it harder for me to want to attempt it in reality. maybe that’s what you want though, who knows? I’ll just never be able to get past this, I know it. I can’t stop thinking about what happened and what I did to cause it. it’s already been over a year, and it still hurts. I’ll still hold some hope that maybe things can get better.
knew what would happen if i did it, and i did anyways. and guess what? it went exactly how i imagined it would. guess i get to feel like shit for a while now, and it’s my own fault.
dont care…
…except those times when you see those things that make you realize you still do kinda care, and you feel sad.
this is one of those nights where things go fine and are great with friends, but once im home, i want nothing but someone to hold me.
i think
im becoming depressed again
Going okay so far. Just hoping neither of us get put off from having a good time. I’m trying my best though. I’m glad I get to be around friends again.
You’re in a better place now. No more pain, no more suffering. We all love you, and will miss you.
Starting to become a bit discouraged again. Things just don’t seem to be going like I had hoped. Plus thinking too much on past things and people just makes it harder. I wish things could go back to how they were.
